Harry Green
by whitetigerwolf
Summary: Crossover with Harry Potter and The Red Green Show. What events would be diffrent if our favorite wizarding hero had been raised by Red and Bernice Green? One-Shot. No Plans To Continue.


**I Do Not Own Harry Potter or Red Green**

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Harry Potter was considered odd by most of his peers at Hogwarts.

Some of these oddities weren't all that odd, such as his choice of he didn't wear his school robes, Harry favored a flannel shirt and tan pants held up with a belt and red and green suspenders. Nor was his deferance to his female friend Hermione Granger.

The really odd things however, were the things that drew notice. For one, he always carried a roll of duct tape wherever he went, and recieved six rolls a week by owl. He used this duct tape for just about everything, rather than using magic to repair things. Tear in your scool bag, use duct tape. Accidently rip your essay in half, put duct tape on the back. Burn a hole in your cauldron, use lots of duct tape and cast a fire-proofing charm on it. Have your broom smashed by the womping willow, duct tape it (it was a surprise to everyone when Harry's Nimbus 2000 still worked after he taped it back togethor, it was even bigger when he painted a small possom on it and continued to fly it, despite recieveing a Firebolt).

Although, admittedly, duct tape didn't work so well when he fixed his friend Ron's wand in second year. But the wand had still worked better than it had with spellotape.

But Harry was also considered to be quite smart, inventing several spells on his own.

Everyone had learned to be wary of him after Malfoy ended up wrapped up in ductape and resembling a mummy (rummour was that he was still missing some hair on certain areas of his body). They had also learned that Harry loved his great aunt Bernice (his grandfather Charlus Potter's sister) and her husband Red, who had raised him. In fact it was for insulting them that Malfoy had ended up upon the recieving end of the aforementioned spell.

He also had lots of stories about his Uncle Red, cousin Harold, and his uncle's friends that were quite amusing, though many disbelieved them. A few muggleborns though had commented on how they had seen Red's television show.

They were either appaled or found it hillarious.

Harry had used his various duct tape spells to great effect in his adventures.

In first year, he duct taped a troll and Fluffy to the floor. Used dynamite (mailed to him by a friend of his Uncle Red, a man named Edgar Montrose) to blow down the door in the flying key chamber. Duct taped the chess pieces so they couldn't move. And mummy wrapped Quirrel.

In second year, he duct taped a rogue bludger to the wall, a snake to the stage in dueling club, and the Basalisk in the chamber down long enough for him to kill it.

In his third, Not only did he use it to repair his broom, but also to keep Pettigrew restrained when he was caught (Which turned out to be a good idea as he had tried esacping buy changeing into a rat, luckily all the ductape that Peter had been wrapped in kept him from escapeing), resulting in his Godfather Sirius' freedom.

In his fourth year, he'd tried useing duct tape against the dragon (unfortunatly ductape proved to weak to restrain a nesting Hungarian Horntail mother dragon hellbent on killing and maiming any and all threats to her eggs, real and fake), before summoning his broom. He'd also used it and wrapped Voldemort in ductape in the Graveyard, summoning his body and takeing him to Hogwarts at the end of the Tri-Wizard Tournament.

Nedless to say, everyone was shocked when Harry appeared with the Dark Lord wrapped up in duct tape, but they didn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

After breaking into Voldemorts mind, not only did they discover how he'd survived when he'd attacked Harry as a child, but identified all his loyall supporters.

All were thrown through the veil of death.

And so, from harry's fifth year on, he had a quiet experience at Hogwarts. And when he graduated, he married Hermione Granger, who was the only witch that could put up with his crazy ideas and duct taped contraptions. Afterward, he founded the Possum Lodge, Godric's Hollow Branch, much to the joy of his Uncle Red and resigned bemusement of his Aunt Bernice and Hermione.

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**EVERYBODY STAND UP! (Cross arms so that your right hand is on your left shoulder and yor left hand on your right) _Quando omni flunkus moritati. _Everbody sit down. Now bow your heads for the man's prayer. _I am a man, and I can change, if I have to, I guess._**

**Hope you enjoyed, just a little amusing piece that I wrote at work. I know I could have probably done a full story, but I didn't, however if anyone want's to give it a go, feel free to.**

**Please Review and Check out the Challenges in My Forums and the Stories I have up for Adoption.**


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